Sunday, November 29, 2009

Week 48

I have to go to Boston in January, so I booked a hotel. As I was booking at the Omni, I noticed that those age 55 or older received a discounted fare. Gulp. I went ahead and signed up. I might as well get something out of this.

A few days later, I was in an irrigation supply store, looking for a piece of piping I need for the back yard. It was the day before Thanksgiving and the crotchety old fellow behind the counter was complaining because someone owed him a thousand dollars, and he was not showing up as expected. I commiserated, secretly wondering what it would be like to be waiting on a thousand dollars. He found the piece I needed, but I would have to buy it with the complete elbow assembly. I only needed the top piece. He eyed me up and down and said if I were over 49 I could get the senior discount. I don't think there really was a senior discount, but he could tell by looking at me that I wasn't there to throw money away. At $25, I reckoned it was still too expensive. The guy nodded.

He said he took advantage of senior discounts all the time. "You can get a McDonald's coffee for 58 cents." I didn't know that. "Best deal on the street. It ain't Starbucks, but it is still decent coffee."

Getting old isn't that bad if you can get paid for it.

Clean as a whistle. Go Darien.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Week 47


Sometimes you just can't be totally honest with a person. This was brought home to me by a one-day art project in the courtyard outside the library. The idea was to write on a Post-It note a lie that you have told in the past, or that has been told to you. All Post-Its were signed the same -- "Liar" -- and then put up on a temporary kiosk in the courtyard. Antonia and I were there early and lied together and had our pictures taken. I think this project is posted somewhere on the Web. Maybe someone will point me to it.

Which brings me to the subject of today's post. It wasn't an actual lie -- more like an incomplete disclosure of the truth. Darien and I were going to the inauguration of the Listening Room RVA. I had read a decent review of Fleming's Steakhouse, and how they were offering a $25 discount certificate on all meals before December 20. I'm a sucker for saving money. My problem is that Darien has extreme, unreasoned prejudice against two things: steakhouses and chains. I can sort of understand the first, but chains? This from a woman who thinks every Starbucks barista is a close family member?

So, I needed to get her to the restaurant, without telling her where we were going. After all, Flemings severs fish, too, and the $25 was a sore temptation for me. So I just e-mailed and told her to be ready to go. She is a sucker for dates, so I knew I was on safe grounds making a reservation. Like all modern young couples, we arranged everything by e-mail:

Mine: We have to leave at 6:10 P.M. Don't be late.
Hers: Is this a me-date or a you-date? and, are we leaving from home or do I pick up a Hot Guy at The Pit? 
Mine: This is an us-date; you just won't know it until afterward. We will leave from home.
Hers: appropriate dress? I was planning on wearing my Speckled  B. tee ... 
Mine: You might feel more comfortable if you were a little more fancy. But I like you just the way you are.
Hers: You don't LOVE me just the way I am?
Mine:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ounJsqomcv8 
Hers: you didn't tell me if we are leaving from home or from The Pit ...
Mine: Wrong. "This is an us-date; you just won't know it until afterward. We will leave from home."
Hers: oops.
Right.
Off to the gym; I'll be at home in time.
Hers: Shall I have a cappucino ready to prepare when you walk in the door?
Mine: Yes! Leaving now. [Another lie. I didn't get away for another twenty-five minutes.]

I consider it a successful ruse, since she didn't actually believe we were going there until I was opening the door to Fleming's for her. There were a few glitches. She ordered a Honig Chardonnay, but the waiter brought her a New Zealand Zinfandel instead. She ended up liking it very much. Also, the waiter never did get back to us on what the definition of a wine bar is, which we have been debating for the past six months. The bread was very good, and made better by the champagne infused brie that we used to spread. We split a salad and asked for the dressing on the side, so they brought us each our own beaker of dressing -- maybe a week's worth. No wonder their prices are so high. We wanted to split their bisque, but it was too spicy for me and Darien had to eat the whole thing. She feigned sorry for my altered taste buds. For the main dish, we split rock fish with scallops and risotto, with a side of grilled asparagus. We drooled over the desserts, and denied ourselves.


I think she was mildly surprised at enjoying herself in a chain steakhouse. And I saved $25. Score one for John. I was so pleased I got drunk on coffee.

The Listening Room was a great success. Jonathan organized most of the decorations and the talent and the deer head, and they recouped enough money to keep on going. We listened to The Low Branches, Englishman, and Ferdinand Thomas. As far as I can tell Englishman is actually two people, and there really is no one named Ferdinand. My favorite of the evening was "Oh God" by Ferdinand Thomas. That set is up on YouTube now. Very lo-fi, though. Be warned. I had to poke the woman next to me a few times to get her to be quiet and listen.

Can't wait for the December 18th show. And they better get those kick-ass sisters from Georgia here soon.


[Oh my God! I forgot to post the counter pic on the original message. I hope my millions of followers haven't caught on yet.]

Question: Is this the place where we put our books? Answer: No! this is not the place where we put our books!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Week 46




Moving from the ridiculous to the sublime, I went to another high school event this week -- girls volleyball! Now that's what I'm talking about. No more of this strutting and tooting of horns around a football field. Just intense competition, digs, kills, close net action, and tight shorts. We watched Godwin romp Deep Run in three games. But you can read about that in the sports page. What the sports page won't tell you is that one of the Godwin coaches wore red high heels. Seriously red. And before play, the Deep Run girls would get together in a tight huddle with their arms around each other for some self-inspiring smack talk about the competition. We called it the huggle. It didn't do them any good. We walked in on the first game when Godwin was down five points. It was the last time they were down. Godwin's runaway victory was probably a result of the obese parent sitting next to us who kept exhorting the officials in a deep, rafter-shaking bass voice to quit cheating for Deep Run. Whenever he bellowed, his wife studied the scoreboard with deep concentration, looking as if she didn't know who this was sitting next to her. Whatever.





The kitchen counter is almost getting boring. I'm thinking I should make next year's resolution the attic.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Week 45

FRIDAY
HER to HIM (via e-mail): I have a new wine item for you! Let's have a date Saturday night. We can have dinner out somewhere north of the river.
HIM to HER (via e-mail): If we date, it has to be at a place we have not been before.

SATURDAY
HIM: What is the date?
HER: I will tell you later.
HIM: OK.

(later, lying in bed)
HIM: What is it? Where are we going?
HER: I can't tell you
HIM: Is this a Darien-date or a John-date?
HER: A Darien-date.
HIM: Will I be embarrassed?
HER: No.
HIM: Will I have to talk to anyone?
HER: No.
HIM: OK.


HER: It will only take 15 minutes. We will be there for 30.
HIM: OK.

HER:  We have to leave at 7:30. Will you be ready?
HIM: Yes.
HER: That is a half hour from now.
HIM: OK.

(38 minutes later, in the car on the Willey Bridge)
HIM: Are we going to see the Godwin marching band?
HER (squealing): YES! YES! YESSSS! I am so excited! It is a band competition, and Godwin performs last!
HIM: OK.
HIM (in his head): Welcome to my nightmare.

Dare I hope for a trend that could become institutionalized? We have less than two months to go before I have to cease this public humiliation.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Week 44

Halloween came early this year -- about a week early. I mark the date from when Darien brought home four bags of candy. I didn't see any reason why it had to sit there for a whole week unopened. The good news is that I only liberated one bag -- those little packets of M&M's. The others were chewy things, that didn't appeal to me as much. I would have eaten them if there was nothing else. I would have killed for chocolate kisses, though.

I really don't think early Halloween had much to do with running out of candy early on Halloween itself. I think Darien and Antonia were overcome by the unbearable cuteness of the kids and gave away far too much per costume. I can't remember the last time this happened. It means I don't get any chocolate during the post-Halloween week. I hope someone at work comes through.

I'm handing out gold stars this week for the counter.